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What Its like to be me

I wont deny that Im strange
infact I quite enjoy being so Unknown
every day is an adventure when you dont even understand or know the depths of your own consciousness.
With that being said,
Enjoy Reading things as I see them.
and have a nice day!

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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Old Memorys, Drugs, And Freedom

So tonight I was doing my usual of not sleeping (cause imma nocturnal creep xD)
and i decided to visit and old friend of mine. I knew this friend since Kindergarten
but him and I somewhat drifted since he got into a pretty heavy drug-using lifestyle.
as soon as I stepped in the door he greeted me, and ushered me to take a seat
i could easily tell that he was recovering from smoking dope just before i came
but that didnt really bother me since ive known him for so long.
He asked me how id been, and what ive been doing recently
and as i informed him he seemed to be dozing off.
he then asked me the same question again, and again i told him the same thing.
after a couple more times of repeating myself silence fell upon the room
then out of no where he brought up kindergarten, and asked whether i knew where anyone was
I began to tell him of who i kept track of, and we started discussing the old kindergarten antiques
sneaking our link cables into the lunchroom to trade pokemanz, talking about Boobies of girls that we knew,
the stupid jokes we told, and even which teachers we prefered.
thats when it hit me,
we were both so innocent back then,
and then the world hit us, and made us who we were today.
it made me tear up (of course since i wouldnt dare let a friend see my tears, it was held back and happened on the inside)
I missed that innocence, that playfulness, that ignorance of all the bad shit life has
we were so oblivious, so happy, and so pure.
Why is it that we look at our childhood and at our current lives and say "FUUUUUUU-"?
because we were robbed, or more realistically
we were swindled. We were told that learning would help us
prepare us for the world
we were told that if we tried hard enough we could be whatever we wanted to be
and then as we grew they started to change their words.
they lied to us, told us we could have the world, then when we did as they wanted gave us a pile of shit in return. Sure some lucky fuck gets his/her dream... if daddy and mommy can pay for it, or if they cheat the system
but poor saps that actually have honor, integrity, and morals gets fucked up the ass because they dont want to cheat, and dont have rich parents.
Im not saying i come from a poor family
if anything id prob say were middleclass,
but i have seen the poor, and i have seen the rich
and you know what most children from a poor family amount to when they grow up?
the same poor fuck as their parents.
and the worst part is most of the time their miserable because they are so overwelmed with their work, and bills, and how their gonna feed their family, that they dont get to experience life for what it is, LIFE
Im not saying that that the rich are the reason the poor are poor,
but most higher class dont give to shits about their poor brothers and sisters
and so the world turns (got a little off topic there, but it helps to understand my point)
From a young age we are trained to become slaves
sure we still get to live our lives being "Free"
but what freedom do we really have
they censor us, make us work 8-16 hours a day, make us pay for the essentials of life, and restrict our actions
if they dont go along with their interests.
why are most drugs illegal, yes partially cause they could be hazardous to our health
but also because on drugs we tend to go outside their borders of thinking,
we feel feelings that make us remember our childhood,
remember that freedom, and crave it.
I say to you know, if you remember that far back, if you remember what real freedom feels like
then ask yourself "Why?", "Why do i need to work to eat, why do i need money to live"
its not a job, your not a worker, Your a slave, with a new name, and why do things work the way they do
cause thats how its been done since the beginning,
im only one being, and alone im nothing more then an ant nipping at the ankle of a god, but if enough people grew the balls to stand up, like African ants, we could swarm them, and even bring a god down,
im not saying dismantling the established system would bring happiness, but until we can all think for ourselves
we will be playing follow the leader, and being lead straight to our own exstinction.
I myself waste no time living life, If i must i will live as the animals and hunt for my food
but become a slave i shall not
you may call me a bum,
but ill call you ignorant.
just because thats how things have always went,
dosent mean thats how they should continue
just because they say jump,
dosent mean you should say how high.

whence the old system is dismantled and we stop listen to those selfish bastards who destroy to make their own lives easier
we can hopefully put ourselves back on the right path
and start living with nature. use, but do not abuse
help each other out without betraying
i can guarantee if we were to do this, 
the quality of life would improve.

i leave you with a test,
the next time you tell a family member, a significant other, a pet, anyone/thing you care about that you love them/it
think, and feel deep and hard,
do you feel that sensation
do those words have meaning
cause if not, then your already dead.
your a mindless slave that has lost any reason to live
and for those who will say that it makes you tough
that you are strong cause you no longer feel
you are still mortal, and even though your covered in callouses
dosent mean you impervious to death, feeling is what makes life
when you lose it, you lose yourself.
if you think that statement is offensive or harsh in any way
then good, its my right, as a living feeling being to feel that way
and you should understand that.
photo thanks to: http://scottianbarry.com/ThreeWolves.jpg

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